I wanted XXX XX XXX
but I didn’t think;
what I meant to say was: ―orbits―
with
someone else,
who knew everything
while the rest of me had somehow
forgotten everything else I had ever known,
I forgot―
my place in the story,
my place in the Kingdom,
my way with your fingers;
In your mouth,
I could untie words,
words only you knew how to say,
so I said so little,
to get a rise out of you,
to cheat on you, to tease you,
to enthrall you, to inflict pain.
But I failed. And you failed too. We both failed.
In all our days: “I told you.” “You told me.”
This was something silent.
We ended up in the glass elevator;
going up to the 17th floor.
I pinned you against the wall,
You slipped your fingers into my mouth,
trying to untangle all those years,
all those years of so many words―
absent astray
adrift at sea cast away
disappeared
disoriented forfeit forfeited,
gone gone astray hidden invisible irrecoverable
irretrievable irrevocable kiss goodbye
lacking minus mislaid misplaced missed
obscured off-course
off-track strayed unredeemed vanished wandering
wayward without
