I’ve ripped the backs off live blue-claw crabs to
prepare them for a pasta sauce, and I’ve threaded hairy worms on hooks
to catch fish. I’ve eaten
alligator on a stick in New Orleans, and Caribou Pie in Alaska, though
neither was to my liking, nor were chocolate covered ants or tripe.
I’m often an adventurous sort when it comes to food.
That's what I tell myself as I stare down still wiggling shrimp, or
bistecca Florentina so rare you expect it to moo.
One of the oddest food experiences I ever had occurred one
afternoon in the stunningly beautiful Mediterranean island of Madeira.
My husband, son and I were taking a whirlwind tour of
the island. We rented a car
for a day and wanted to see as much of the terraced beauty of the place as
we could. As we drove, we
pulled off the road often to take in the scenery.
We were entranced by the large flowers and well-tended gardens.
I stopped and bought an intricately embroidered tablecloth at a
roadside stand. We sampled the
famed Madeira wine and bought two bottles.
Eventually, our stomach clocks went off and we
started looking for a spot to dine. We
passed several dingy roadside places and I became discouraged and more
irritable. We were famished.
Then, off on the right, on a high promontory we spotted a blue and
white tiled restaurant that looked homey and inviting.
It perched over the road and had a beautiful view of the water.
“If it’s open we’re eating there,” said my
son, Bret, an incredibly finicky seventeen year old.
We were in luck.
Not only was it open the proprietor and his wife greeted us as
though we were long lost friends. None
of us speaks Portuguese, but that did not matter.
The owner brought out platters of what he had to offer and we
picked from the different types of vegetables, meats and fishes.
My husband, Tom, and I chose a fish that glistened in the afternoon
sun. The owner nodded his head
approvingly. Bret was more of
a problem. Finally, on a
tourist menu that the owner found in a drawer, Bret found beef on a stick.
He figured that would be a safe bet, as back at home he often would
have shish-kebab.
The place had only a few customers, all of whom
nodded and smiled at us. Some
spoke and said hello. We explained we were visiting from NY.
One couple had relatives in the states and could speak a little
English. The first course
arrived in lovely ceramic bowls and we dug into our soup, a soothing broth
that took the edge off our hunger.
After the soup bowls were cleared away, out came Bret’s
smoking hot beef. As the smoke
cleared we could see this beef was threaded on something other than the
usual polished skewer. The
meat had been threaded on a long branch from a tree in the yard.
The stick was black, charred from the fire and though the meat was
rather chewy and tough, Bret gnawed at it and seemed happy.
I tried hard not to imagine what part of the cow was on that stick.
Tom’s and my fish arrived.
It was mouthwatering and tender, spiced with something exotic.
The owner proudly placed a side dish of rice next to the fish.
“Local
specialty,” he said in accented English.
We
thanked him and he retired to the kitchen. Eventually, I took a bite of
the rice. There was something
different in it, something unfamiliar and crunchy.
I watched my husband as he took a bite and then dug around in the
bowl.
“Gee. It
looks like they put pumpkin seeds in the rice.”
“Pumpkin seeds?
In August? In Madeira?
I don’t think so.” I
poked one of the "pumpkin seeds" and examined it closely.
It was oval, orange, and flat, with a dark rim, and was the size of
a thumbnail.
“What do YOU think it is then?” asked Tom in a
wary tone.
I squashed one of the seeds against the side of the
bowl and a couple of legs and a pair of jaws popped out.
“Ohmigod,” I said.
“What, what?” said Tom.
By this time Bret was giggling at the look on my
face.
“It’s some kind of bug,” I said.
“It can’t be a bug.
It doesn’t have wings or anything like that.”
Tom poked around some more.
“Squash it" I said.
"
He did and his eyes grew wide.
I waved over the owner and pointed at the bowl.
He nodded and smiled approvingly and I smiled back.
“Limpets,” he said.
“Limpets?” said Tom.
“Limpets?” said Bret.
“Limpets!” said the owner and he made a swimming
motion.
We were eating sea bugs.
The owner returned to his other customers.
Neither Tom nor I ate another bite of the limpets and rice. I tried
not to make eye contact with the bowl for the rest of the meal.
The rest of the afternoon was as lovely as we could
have hoped. I do recommend that you put Madeira on your list of must
sees with one caveat … beware of limpets!