New poets tend to write a line at a time, as if the line, or well-turned phrase was everything. Actually, it isn't. Your poem must flow, and move, line by line, stanza by stanza. To do this, you don't use participles like runnING, skatING, leavING, cryING. You use action verbs, tied to a subject. "I RUN,"" the wind SKATES,"" they ESCAPE,"" we CRY." The subject/ action verb combination, followed by an object, is at the core of most good poems, just as it is in prose.

Now, if you use "I am running,"" the wind is skating,"" they are escaping,"" we are crying"-- the verb To Be softens and dilutes these statements--they end up not nearly as strong. You can use the form at times, but be aware of that softening. Also, unless you use freestanding participles as part of a subordinate clause that ties right back to the original subject/action verb-- avoid the little buggers. Don't ever allow participles to just hang there by themselves, without a supporting action verb. It will not work. But let's dig a little deeper, with some examples.

Remember that action verbs are the engine that make your poems move forward and gain strength, not hover and die. So use them--and don't write in disjointed fragments. Those who you may think wrote in fragments, because of their short lines (Williams, Plath, Bukowski) did nothing of the sort. There was a continuous line, a string upon which those words traveled to an inevitable conclusion. Whether fixed form or free verse, the poem MUST move.

Also, you can get a lot of mileage out of the sentence form in a poem. In the first example below, there are a lot of fragments, not perfectly connected-- lots of stops and crooked starts that don't necessarily lead to the same ending.

The second example is essentially one sentence. Stanzas (or strophes in free verse) are often one sentence, driven from an isolated image or premise, to a definite conclusion. And the way you drive your lines, just as you do an effective sentence, is by using action verbs. Make your lines do something, not just be something.

I am sad. Tears flowing.
Sadder than I've ever been.
Because of you.

(How about instead):
I drive this deaf
nail into the wall;
penetrate sheetrock

and you.

(Ouch! The second one moved, didn't it. While the language may have been more "indirect" in its arrival at meaning, the effect of the lines was very direct.)

REPEAT: DON'T USE PARTICIPLES IN PLACE OF REAL VERBS.

In the "before" example: Tears flowing. (yuck!)

The fastest way to spot an amateur poet is the abuse of "-ING" (present participle) and "-ED" (past participle) words strung out there by themselves with no support from action verbs. Tears flowing, snowflakes dancing, body parts flying--or tears dried, snowflakes melted, body parts missed. Don't use these phrases alone. They don't advance the poem like action verbs do.

Before:

I miss you.
The night is so long. Tears flowing.
How about:

You miss these tears.
But the night counts them,
a metronome, a measure
of me.

Now, you can use participles as helpers in a longer poetic sentence. For instance:

EPISTLE OF SAINT PAUL, ON RICE PAPER

The sensei
breaks concrete,
swimming
in the rocks.

The Christ
tap dances on water--

you can hear the shocks.

In this case "swimming" (a present participle) is directly connected to its related action verb, "breaks." There, the participle works as it's supposed to, as a complement. Use it like this any time you want. Just don't use the participle all by itself, taking the place of an action verb.

If you get the use of action verbs down, and hinge the progress of a poem upon them, you will not only push that poem along-- you'll also advance yourself (as a poet) to the next level.

Al Rocheleau has been a full-time staffer for the Poetry: Body Shop in the Writer's Block area of The Amazing Instant Novelist (AIN) since early 1996 (Keyword: NOVEL on AOL). He also is on the Editorial Board (for Poetry) at AIN, and writes the regular instructional column, "Poet's Place," for AIN's The Write Stuff member newsletter.

Al has published more than sixty poems in magazines and journals in the United States, Canada, and Europe. Publications include Nedge: The Northeast Journal, Outerbridge, Pennsylvania English, Mobius, Artisan: A Journal of Craft, and Haight Ashbury Literary Journal; in these, his work has appeared alongside noted contemporary poets like Lyn Lifshin and John Tagliabue. A 64-poem collection, A Granite Symphony will be published by Alpha Beat Press this year. (Alpha Beat Press has published work by Allen Ginsberg, Diane Wakoski, Gary Snyder, and Charles Bukowski.) A second, new collection, Munchkinland and Other Poems, was recently completed.

For the past two years Al has co-hosted a poetry chat/workshop at Orca's Place (a former Atlantic Monthly site), and also, as his "real" job and livelihood, edits and publishes a popular managed care-related journal for providers of alternative health care. He resides in Orlando, Florida with his wife Georgette, and three children.

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