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Limiting Adjectives, Adverbs, etc.

by
Al Rocheleau

 

Prose has a bit more time to hover, daydream, linger, mess around. Poetry does not. Since every word in a poem must be an essential one, be careful that you are not adding words that don't really need to be there. This includes the words that modify nouns and verbs -- the adjectives and adverbs. While these descriptive word-types can sometimes further color a noun or better define a verb, you'll find as you continue building your craft as a poet that you will tend to use adjectives and, especially, adverbs much less.

What will take their place are well chosen, original nouns and MUCH stronger action verbs working in tandem with subordinate clauses that also include more nouns, the objects of those verbs. There will be a lot of action and a lot less dwelling on individual nouns and verbs laden with a clutter of adjectives or adverbs. In other words, you'll "get on with things" -- get on with the poem. Also, as you learn to use the critical devices of simile and metaphor, adjectives and adverbs will become the eggnog and ribbon candy you only pull out at Christmas.

Often in formal, metered verse, the new poet will use adjectives, adverbs and other words as filler to "feed the meter" -- by this we mean that the extra words fill out the line so it contains a requisite number of beats. This is probably the WORST reason to employ an adjective or adverb. Rather than do this, it's better to just extend that poetic sentence with its vital noun/action verb/subordinate clause onto the next line -- the carry-over is called "enjambment." (More on this when we cover meter in detail in a later column.) Within a line or two, the statement will tend to finish itself off without any artificial forcing at the end of a line, and you'll be fine again -- with no trail of useless, annoying filler words.

Remember that adjectives and adverbs may seem colorful when you apply them, but they slow things down, sometimes interminably. Look first to condense the number of words in a line rather than expand them. Remember that "flow" in a poem is FAR more important than any particular decoration, and every additional, unnecessary word in a poem fights against that premise. So, let's look at a few lines and see how they might be condensed:

Dark and restless, sleepless nights 
turn slowly to the respite of the dawn.

How about:

Wide-eyed nights plead
the dawn's respite.

You can write that above alternative in one line of formal pentameter OR in two lines of free verse. Either way, you're now down to essentials.

When you DO use adjectives -- and you will -- remember that they are like jewels; it's tempting to put them all on, but then you look gaudy. And most action verbs that are well-used don't need one of those "-LY" words tagging on like a sucker fish on a shark. You must use adverbs VERY carefully, or not at all.

Beyond adjectives and adverbs, using "of the" phases (as in the first example above) can also pose a problem. While they can add dignity to a line, they also REALLY slow a line down. So unless that is your intent, consider changing “of the” lines to a possessive ("dawn's respite" rather than "respite of the dawn").

Finally, put in articles like "a", "an" and "the" only when you need them -- but don't be afraid to use them when you really think they are needed. The strict "no-articles school" can sometimes be just as artificial-sounding and wrongheaded as the overly ornate, "romantic" school. Just COMMUNICATE straight-on, with as much direct impact as you can, making EVERY word count for something. All those word-types, those "parts of speech" we mentioned, have their place. Just make sure that they occupy THAT place, and no other. 

 

Al Rocheleau has been a full-time staffer for the Poetry: Body Shop in the Writer's Block area of The Amazing Instant Novelist (AIN) since early 1996 (Keyword: NOVEL on AOL). He also is on the Editorial Board (for Poetry) at AIN, and writes the regular instructional column, "Poet's Place," for AIN's The Write Stuff member newsletter. 

Al has published more than sixty poems in magazines and journals in the United States, Canada, and Europe. Publications include Nedge: The Northeast Journal, Outerbridge, Pennsylvania English, Mobius, Artisan: A Journal of Craft, and Haight Ashbury Literary Journal; in these, his work has appeared alongside noted contemporary poets like Lyn Lifshin and John Tagliabue. A 64-poem collection, A Granite Symphony will be published by Alpha Beat Press this year. (Alpha Beat Press has published work by Allen Ginsberg, Diane Wakoski, Gary Snyder, and Charles Bukowski.) A second, new collection, Munchkinland and Other Poems, was recently completed.

For the past two years Al has co-hosted a poetry chat/workshop at Orca's Place (a former Atlantic Monthly site), and also, as his "real" job and livelihood, edits and publishes a popular managed care-related journal for providers of alternative health care. He resides in Orlando, Florida with his wife Georgette, and three children. 

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